An Evening of Extraordinary Circumstance: Day 1

I was tested immediately when I left for work in the morning. As I stepped out of my front door, there was a package waiting for me. That package: The Flatliners’ new album. I’ve been waiting for this record for months. I caressed it a few times and tucked it away. I drove to work in silence. It was particularly grating since my timing belt has been squealing relentlessly lately, and that was the soundtrack to my drive. Work was no better. I usually have my iPod in my ears for the whole eight hours. Today? Silence. It’s a lot harder to ignore the people you don’t like when you don’t have an excuse to “not hear them.” I checked my email a few times, and saw notifications of messages and comments from friends on Facebook. I almost can’t stop thinking about what I’m missing. Are they urgent messages? Is my long lost twin brother trying to contact me via social networking? It’s not too far-fetched. It happened to my brother-in-law. Seriously. It’s probably just my friends making penis jokes and Mitch Hedberg references, but I still want to read them. I feel like a drug addict. Except instead of shakes and vomiting, I’m just a nerd.

Back at home, it’s torture. There’s no one here, and with no record player or TV, it’s deadly silent. I love to read, but I need background noise. I have hundreds of books that would breeze me through this weekend, but I need TV and music to enjoy them. Ironic, huh? I have lots of texts going unanswered. Many angry friends, no doubt. I’m too lazy to explain this whole thing to anyone. To satisfy my media craving, I try to watch the news, but all they’re talking about is the oil spill and Tiger Woods. Glenn Beck is on FOX News, but he’s not an option because to the best of my knowledge, I’m not retarded. I’m going to go to Half Priced Books and read for free. Any chance they’ll be playing the new Flatliners record there?